Embracing The Holidays As A First-Time Mom
My daughter was born right before Christmas.
But as a first-time mom — and as all first-time moms know — getting ready for the holiday season was the last thing on my mind… and Christmas is my favorite holiday!
I can’t even remember who put up the stockings for me...or the tree.
In fact, I don’t remember feeling the holiday spirit very much.
All I could think about was caring for my tiny human, overwhelmed by massive feelings of anxiety and —surprisingly — sadness. All my expectations of motherhood were turned completely upside down.
So how do you enjoy the holidays, a time of festivity, gratitude, and cheer, when you’re not quite feeling like yourself?
Instead of being the happy mom filled with holiday cheer — you know the ones you see on social media...fresh-faced with matching family PJs and all — you’re just barely able to put on matching socks and you’re doing all you can just to get through the day.
For the overwhelmed first-time mama during this time of the year, this is for you.
It’s okay to not love this holiday season right now.
It’s stressful. It’s exhausting, and it’s possibly the last thing on your mind.
Your feelings are incredibly valid.
Here are nine tips that can help lessen the overwhelm.
1. Check-in with your partner
The holiday season is the perfect time to get on the same page as your partner, especially with a newborn at home. There might be a lot of different activities you both want to do with your child as first-time parents. It’s only natural to want to make this super special.
So check in with each other to share your goals for this holiday season, and get a plan ready to help make it happen for your family. This is also a good time to mutually check in on the other’s mental health.
How are you two feeling? What can you do to support each other right now?
2. Don’t worry about the presents
As this will be the first holiday season as a parent, you’ll want it to be absolutely perfect. And that means getting everything and anything. Trust me when I say this, mama. You don’t have to worry about getting too many presents for your baby for a couple of reasons:
They’re so young! Although you will remember this, they won’t. It’s okay to take it easy on gift-buying. Give yourself some grace — one less thing to worry about.
You’re likely going to get a bunch of gifts from your friends or family!
This also goes for you, your partner, and friends and family. For our first Christmas as new parents, we decided that we weren’t going to give each other physical presents — just each other’s time, love, and support. That was what we needed most.
Most people will understand that you’ve just had a baby and that there isn’t much time for shopping. And if you would still like to get gifts for your loved ones, go for those quick and easy items you can order online.
3. Skip hosting this year
If you’re usually the host for holiday parties, it may be time to hand off this baton to someone else until you’re ready. No matter what anyone says, it’s okay to step down!
This means less planning, less stress, and fewer hosting duties. You can throw that amazing party you’re known for when you’re feeling more mentally equipped to handle it. Give yourself a break here too, mama.
4. Learn To Say No
Learning to say no and establish boundaries is one of the toughest parts of motherhood, but it’s absolutely crucial, especially during the holidays.
If your family isn’t up to attending that reunion, then it’s okay to say no. If you don’t want too many people over at your place while you’re adjusting to motherhood, then it’s okay to say no.
With a newborn at home, your time and space are precious. It’s okay to value the quiet moments and privacy above all else.
5. Ramp up self-care
Self-care in motherhood is SO important regardless of what time of year it is. Every mama needs — and deserves — time to herself so that she can recharge.
In order for you to find happiness during this holiday season, it’s important that you give yourself rest and prioritize your mental health.
If you can give yourself at least ONE hour of alone-time per day, this will help you tremendously. Think of it as a gift to you, because you deserve it.
6. Lower expectations
As with most things in motherhood, sometimes what you envisioned for your child’s first holiday season doesn’t always go quite as planned. It’s important to keep this in mind. Your little one won’t always love taking pictures, seeing Santa, or being around different people. It’ll be nap time right in the middle of opening presents, or it’ll culminate in a fussy tantrum because they’re overstimulated.
This was something I learned the hard way. It won’t always go the way you envisioned.
It can feel disappointing and maybe even embarrassing, and that’s all okay.
We want to make these special memories last. In the early days of motherhood, it’s almost more meaningful to cherish the smaller moments.
That first-holiday onesie.
Your first holiday meal as a family (which can most certainly be takeout or a ready-to-heat meal from your neighborhood market)
Your baby being here, breathing, crying, and smelling of newborn magic, for the holidays.
There are many more opportunities for grander holiday celebrations and milestones down the road, so take this year to appreciate the little ones.
7. Lean on your support
This is true even if it isn’t the holiday season. If support is being offered, accept the help. This goes for any shopping or errands that you can hand off to someone else. The goal is to alleviate your workload, and it starts with leaning on your support system.
Remember, mama. Saying yes to the help you need is a great way to open up and embrace motherhood and show up fully for the holidays.
8. Take Pictures… but not for social media
These moments don’t belong to anyone else.
They belong to you. Don’t worry about taking those Insta-worthy photos or having that picturesque family shot. Live in the moment. Enjoy this first. And take the pictures that will live in your heart for a lifetime.
Truly savor this time with your new family, and don’t worry about what others want to see.
9. Remember, the holidays are about love.
It’s easy to get caught up in the holiday fever. Decorations should look a certain way, there should be big celebrations, and everyone should be lively and jolly.
As a new parent, it’s easy to want to make this time magical.
But for you, it will be magical in other ways.
It’s about your first time having a holiday as a family.
It’s about the love that you share as new parents, and the new adventure that awaits you.
It’s about taking a moment to feel gratitude, even for what might seem like e small victories.
Keep your focus on this, and the holidays will be easier on your heart.
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Mama, the holiday season is upon us!
This year felt like it moved by slowly, and yet, here we are with just a few weeks left in the year.
We’re scratching our heads, too. Where did the time go?
As we embrace the pumpkin-themed decorations and get ready to welcome the Thanksgiving spirit and beyond, we understand that for some mamas, this time of year is not always joyous.
It can be a great source of pain for some…
It can be overwhelming…
And in some cases, it may not even feel like the holiday season at all…
Wherever you are in your motherhood journey, you are heard. You are seen. You are not forgotten.
At Bloome, we put you first...always.
If you need extra support this time of year — a safe space to focus on your healing — so that you can show up for your family, the holidays and more importantly… yourself, our door is open to you.
Check us out here.
P.S. We’re insurance-based! And even if the word “insurance” gets you running for the hills, we’ve got you covered here, too. We’ve built a system that can help you demystify this process so that you have one less thing to worry about.
Always in your corner,
Team Bloome