20 Gentle Reminders For The Tired Mama

I want to tell you a story of a day that brings me a lot of shame. 

At the time, I was a full-time employee for a company that barely respected my time or my boundaries. I was a first-time mom with a 4-month old at home with little to no support from my family or friends, which was mostly due to COVID restrictions, and my partner was considered an “essential” worker and was usually gone from 6 AM - 5 PM throughout the workweek.  

I took conference calls while struggling to pump and put bottles together. I took Zoom meetings while trying to comfort a baby that demanded my full attention and was likely overstimulated by the constant screen time.  

When my daughter napped, I worked. But, of course, hello 4-month sleep regression! And the beginnings of teething! So I couldn’t consistently rely on nap windows or late nights to get my work done. I was falling behind.  

And I felt this way with everything.  

I was barely sleeping. The house was chaos. Our dog absolutely did not like the idea of the baby being around (no matter how many YouTube videos I watched about getting the two to bond, it did NOT work).

My relationship with my husband felt distant, somehow different. 

Each and every layer of stress at home was starting to compound. My anxiety had never been higher. It felt like I was on survival-mode-induced auto-pilot. A small part of me — the one that sensed I was overwhelmed — constantly searched for ways to restore some sense of normalcy to my situation. 

But I just couldn’t find it.  

So one day, when I couldn’t get my daughter to nap even after trying every trick in the book... 

When I couldn’t get the dog to stop barking at whoever was knocking on our front door… 

When I felt at my loneliest and most overwhelmed… 

I snapped.  

I put my daughter down in her bassinet, and I just started to scream.

I stood there until my throat went raw. 

Until I’m pretty sure the whole neighborhood heard me. 

Until my dog hid underneath the side table shaking. 

Until my daughter stopped looking at me with wide eyes and started crying...truly crying. 

This was not my vision for motherhood. This is not what the books said it would be like.  

I felt extremely alone, out of my depth… and even more ashamed about what I had just done in a moment of pure frustration. I picked up my daughter and comforted her the best I could, all while overcome with guilt knowing that I just needlessly scared my own child.  

Later on, after a few days of self-reflection, I told a dear friend and fellow mama what happened. I didn’t know what I wanted to hear. I certainly didn’t expect compassion.  

What I had done… makes me a bad mom, right?  

Instead, after a few seconds of silence,  she looked at me with sincere understanding in her eyes. 

And this is what she told me (and why you should always lean into your support system when you need to. The wisdom from other moms is invaluable.) 

She said, “I want to remind you that these circumstances you find yourself in do not define you as a mother. You need more help when there is none. You need a break when there’s very little time. You need to be kind to yourself when you’re feeling at your worst. It’s okay not to love this right now. You’re not alone.” 

And even though I still felt immense guilt and regret, I felt...better. 

It’s a piece of wisdom I carry with me, echoing in my mind when I have overwhelming days, calming me down.

It was these little reminders that helped me feel less burdened… even if it was just for a moment.   

I still find it amazing that on some days, I feel perfectly fine. Everything’s going smoothly. I’m rolling with the punches, calm and in control. Other days, all I feel is immense discouragement, doubt, and frustration.

Because motherhood, while full of love and fulfillment, isn’t easy to say the very least.  

I’ve never felt stronger and more fragile at the same time. 

And so, mama, when the days are long, and you’re not sure how much more you can tolerate — when it all becomes too much and all you want to do is hide — allow these reminders to bring you comfort.  

These are for you: 

1. You can’t do everything, so don’t even try.

2. You’re not alone.

3. It’s okay to be disappointed.

4. Stop being too hard on yourself.

5. Your body is a powerhouse. Look at all it’s done and continues to do.

6. Give yourself some props. Being a mom ain’t easy.

7. Your baby loves you anyway.

8. You deserve help and more support.

9. What it is, it can wait.

10. It’s okay to need a break.

11. Let go of what you can’t control.

12. You’ll always be learning and growing.

13. Self-care is important.

14. Motherhood is not about perfection.

15. Motherhood is not the end of self.

16. You are worthy of love and praise.

17. Struggling does not mean failing.

18. Your frustration is temporary.

19. You will get through this.

20. You are stronger than you know.

And in case you need to see these every day, without having to continuously look up this blog, here’s a gentle reminders freebie just for you. 

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Mama, 

We hope that these gentle reminders will help you get through some of the most overwhelming days.   

If you find that you need more support — a gentle, guided approach to your postpartum journey with professionals that just get it and can meet you exactly where you are— our door is always open.  

And to make this process easier on your mind so that you can focus on healing your heart, we’ve recently established a user-friendly form that allows you to get crystal clear on your options for our programs. 

Most of the time, we spend hours upon hours trying to find the right therapist and understand the complicated options under our insurance.  

We’re cutting that time in half so that you can get closer to recovery faster. 

Check it out here.  

Be well, mama. 

Team Bloome