How To Make Time for Self-Care When You’re a Busy Mom
When was the last time you:
Had time that belongs only to you?
Did the things you love or allowed yourself any space for self-care?
Created time to reset?
These are moments that every mama craves, and unfortunately, they tend to be few and far between.
And even when you do get a chance to take a break — like getting out of the house or even taking a shower longer than 60 seconds — you feel a considerable amount of pressure, guilt, and obligation to return home, and to mommy duties, as quickly as possible.
In the end, it never feels like the break you need.
When you’re postpartum, it’s important to remember this: it is never ever selfish to make yourself a priority.
You’re a mama, and you’re a person who needs to be happy and healthy, too.
Both physically and emotionally.
Self-care is more important than ever now, especially with an increasing number of mothers suffering from burnout due to the overwhelming nature of the pandemic. Be your biggest advocate and take time to focus on yourself, mama.
You might be thinking this all sounds like a luxury you can’t afford — that’s not true. Caring for your needs is a necessity, and it can be totally free.
Here’s how you can make time for yourself when you’re busy balancing life and motherhood.
Rise Early
This depends on your kiddo’s sleep, as some can be very early risers.
But once you start noticing baby’s consistent wake times in the morning, you can start to plan to get up at least 30 minutes to an hour before they do. It might sound like it’s too early, but when you get into the rhythm, it starts to feel very productive.
You can use this time to meditate, exercise, catch up on your favorite show, continue your book, get some work done...really anything that helps you feel like you’re doing something just for you.
My babe has been consistently waking up between 8:00 AM and 8:30 AM, but only started doing this after she turned one year old. I noticed that if I’m up before her, and just dedicated those few precious moments to myself, I was in such a better mood throughout the day.
Here’s what I do, and I swear it helps:
The alarm goes off one hour before the expected wake-time
Skincare routine (I like to keep it minimal because every minute counts! But this is also my form of self-care in the morning right after waking up.)
Drink water before coffee
Check-in with how I’m feeling — do I need to rest? Or, do I want to get something done? Some mornings I choose to rest because being a mama is tiring stuff, but I also never allow myself to feel guilty about this. I listen to my body’s needs.
Do whatever it is that makes me happy at that moment, then get ready for my daughter to be up.
Do routines always go as planned? Nope.
That’s what mom-life is all about. But so long as you’re actively taking manageable and realistic steps towards giving yourself some space before everyone’s awake, you’ll start to feel small but impactful changes in your mood and how you approach the day ahead.
Prioritize Sleep
During those long nights (you know the ones I’m talking about), you may feel like you’ll never get a good night’s rest again.
Sleep is considered one of the most crucial components of postpartum recovery, yet it’s one of the hardest things to achieve consistently, especially during the newborn period, the teething period, any milestone leaps, or simply if your baby isn’t a good sleeper yet.
It will get better.
An important reminder for you, mama. Allow yourself to get some rest, even when you want to or feel pressured to be super mom.
You are already super mom. You are enough just as you are.
So when baby is asleep, and you’re tired AF, rest too.
Try to stick to a consistent bedtime schedule and implement a night-time routine that helps your mind wind down. Here are some ideas to help you if you’re not sure where to start:
Having a nice warm cup of tea while watching your shows or reading a book
Night-time skin/hair routine
Journaling
Writing down your to-do list for the next day and then putting the list away for the night
Wind down yoga to help alleviate anxiety and stress with gentle movements
Simple statements of gratitude as you close your eyes
Do this every night before bed to start building restful, nighttime habits that will help make you feel better after a long day.
Invest In Your Health
Think about what you need, mama.
What have you put on hold during postpartum that you would still like to do?
What would help you feel more like yourself again?
Obviously, this definition is unique for every woman. So it’s important to find something that holds meaning for you.
Here are some things to consider incorporating back into your daily routine:
Skincare. I know I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s like having a mini spa day. So worth it — and affordable with the right brands. And mama, this could just be as simple as washing your face, moisturizing, and putting on some sunscreen. Nothing spectacular — just whatever feels good for you.
Haircare. Honestly, just being able to brush my hair is good enough for me. Invest in a good dry shampoo. I like the brand Batiste.
Food. This is a form of self-care! Buying more fruits, veggies, lean meats, and healthier snack options can really give you the energy you need especially in postpartum.
Purchasing a good water bottle. For keeping up with your water intake every day! (For our breastfeeding mama’s, it’s important to stay hydrated for your milk supply.)
Therapy. Insurance-based programs can help you focus on your recovery and teach you techniques that will help you approach difficult situations during postpartum.
I know how strapped for time you are. I’m right there with you. It takes a certain level of planning and consistent effort to start creating beneficial habits. But if you stick with it, and allow small moments of indulgence, you’ll start to notice shifts in your mood and even in your body — self-care is absolutely necessary for your wellbeing.
Note: self-care isn’t just about treating yourself to something nice. At the most fundamental (and crucial!) level, self-care is about attending to your most basic needs like staying hydrated, eating more nutritious foods, exercising when you can, and getting more sleep. Whatever helps you achieve this balance is worth the investment and effort.
Daily Check-In’s
When you become a mother, you’ll notice that your priorities shift.
What once might have been important to you before, might not seem so now. This transition can be overwhelming and can contribute to identity struggles in motherhood.
So, taking a moment or two during the day to reflect on these changes, and how they make you feel, can be a powerful experience.
It can bring you clarity on what’s newly important to you.
And it can allow you to take actionable steps towards creating significant change in your life.
This will also help you to filter out what no longer holds any meaning for you. One less thing to think about by creating space for the things you value most.
Here are some of the best times to do this type of check-in with yourself:
A few minutes after you’ve woken up
Whenever you start to feel the beginning of overwhelm
At night before you go to bed
When you have a minute to yourself during your busy day
Admitting your more complicated feelings to yourself is hard. Some days, it might actually make you feel guilty. But this honesty is how you implement the change you need to make a difference.
You have so much inner strength, mama. You can do this. These changes will not only benefit you but also your growing family.
Ask For Help
I know how hard having extra help can be given the limitations of the pandemic.
But if a trusted friend/family member or partner is available, don’t be afraid to voice your needs and ask for some alone time.
Be firm with your expectations during your “me time”.
It’s meant to be time dedicated to your self-care with minimal interruption. Try to keep those anxiety-provoking thoughts away too...those are never synonymous with relaxation.
What you can aim to create for yourself is a time that allows you to be still, restore your energy, or catch up with a friend.
This time is reserved for you.
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Mama, if you have any suggestions for other women like yourself who are struggling to make time for their self-care, comment on any of our Instagram posts with #momsinbloome!
We’re always ready to hear new ideas in order to lend a helping hand when motherhood seems overwhelming.
Let us know what you do for self-care, how you make it happen, and how it’s positively changed your life.
Can’t wait to hear from you.
With love,
Team Bloome