10 Things Mamas Are Tired Of Hearing (Part 2)
Welcome back, mama.
Last week, we started the conversation on what moms are tired of hearing from others, no matter how well-meaning the comments might be. The list was so extensive (and we had lots to say!) that we decided to break it up into 2 parts to make it a bit easier.
You can read about Part 1 here.
And now, we’re continuing on with Part 2!
Mama, motherhood is hard enough, and we’re SO glad that we can share this journey --and our unique experiences -- together as a community.
Motherhood isn’t as glamorous as the media portrays. We absolutely love that more mamas are speaking their truth and providing a real --and extremely vulnerable-- window into motherhood.
Sometimes, being a mom feels very isolating. And it really doesn’t help when your every move is subject to judgment and opinion. When we discuss maternal mental health, it seems like we’re faced with immediate backlash for putting ourselves first.
This is why we’re here: to provide you a space to be heard and valued.
So, let’s jump back in and talk about the last few things we’re so tired of hearing.
6. “Wow, you look tired.”
Because we are tired. We’re exhausted, and we’re feeling it to our core.
Some of us are balancing a career with children at home.
Some of us are first-time mothers navigating uncharted waters.
Some of us are doing this alone with very little support.
Some of us don’t feel like ourselves and are struggling with our new identities.
Motherhood is 24/7.
We don’t get many moments to recharge, to have the time to do things that make us feel whole. It’s a sacrifice we make as mothers. And even though we will find our rhythm again, sometimes it feels like the sleepless nights will destroy us.
To conserve energy, we reprioritize things like our hair, makeup, and wardrobe. But that’s what the world sees, and that’s what people like to comment on.
So, unless it’s: “Wow, you look tired... I’ll watch the baby while you [ insert amazing, restorative activity here], then we don’t want to hear it.
7. “You have it easy.”
Um, no.
Mama, you have the hardest job in the world. In fact, you’re a mix of the most essential roles all wrapped up into one:
The teacher
The nurturer
The protector
The listener
The comforter
The giver
The safe space
And so much more. No one can do it quite like you. In your baby’s eyes, you are everything.
Unfortunately, there’s a big misconception that choosing to stay at home means we’re taking the easy road.
This stigma is so damaging for a mother’s mental health.
There is nothing easy about motherhood, no matter how you choose to do it.
If you’re staying home because you have no other childcare options, you’re making a sacrifice and working ‘round the clock.
If you choose to stay home because you want to bond as much as possible with your baby, you are still showing up for the hardest job in the world.
Our journeys are all unique and filled with our own personal challenges..
No mom has it easy.
8. “It’s all in your head.”
We each hold experiences and trauma that can have a physical effect on us. It takes a network of support, patience, and time to properly address our issues and begin healing.
That immediate dismissal only does one thing: it fosters silence.
When we don’t feel safe or understood enough to share our feelings, we just internalize all the pain until we reach a serious breaking point.
We don’t want you to get there, mama.
Unfortunately, it’s a platitude that’s used too often with our struggling mothers.
9. ”Stop worrying.”
Wouldn’t it be great to have an “off” switch for our most anxious thoughts?
While this sentiment might be coming from a kind place, it just doesn’t help. Telling us to stop worrying is like trying to negotiate with a toddler mid-tantrum. It’s just not happening. The reality is that we’re constantly worried about everything we do.
Is my baby eating enough?
Am I doing things the “right” way?
Am I being a “good” parent?
Am I engaging with my baby enough?
Is my baby hitting the appropriate milestones?
It’s because we care that much. As parents, we will always be worried.
Just remember: there is no “right” or “wrong” way to do things. There is only doing what works best for your family. Trust your instincts, mama.
10. “What do you have to be sad about? You wanted a baby.”
Yes, we wanted a baby and we love our baby with everything we have. What we didn’t outright want is the rush of emotions that start in pregnancy and continue throughout postpartum.
It’s a wild ride and the hormones really take a toll.
As mamas, we’re allowed to feel two conflicting emotions at the same time: we can be elated and excited for our future to come, and we can also be scared and anxious for it.
We can feel happiness and intense love for our newborns and still feel sad about the life we’ve left behind.
Our identities, relationships, lifestyle, and bodies are all rapidly changing. And there is nothing wrong with feeling a sense of loss.
If this is resonating with you, you are heard, mama. We understand these feelings, and it’s okay to have them.
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We’re positive there’s more out there that we missed. While some moms are better at brushing these off than others, it still doesn’t make it any easier to hear. The unfortunate truth is that moms hear these things all the time.
It’s surprisingly hard to find an empathetic ear.
It may feel like you’re not living up to some high expectations, but you ARE doing a good job.
And that’s why we’re here - to support you and provide you with resources that are tailored specifically to meet you where you are.
Our community is only growing.
It’s time to give you a support system that’s designed to help you through one of the toughest parts of postpartum.
We’re here for you in every way.
Always in your corner, Team Bloome.
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